Turkish Airlines unveils Manchester United in-flight entertainment

Flying Turkish Airlines just got MUCH cooler.

WAG Wednesday Part 7 - Malena Costa

We're kicking it Spanish WAG style today. Next up - Malena Costa, the charming and adorable girlfriend of one of the most unattractive men in the game today - Carles Puyol. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy for everything he has given to Barcelona. But you can't argue with the evidence: here, here, and here.

But who cares what I think? As they say, looks aren't everything. It's obviously about fame and fortune and sugar daddies, of which Puyol can boast all three characteristics.

Whatever you do Carles, don't let this chick get away:

Four players drugged by rival opponents

I've heard of fans sabotaging their own stadiums, or attacking team buses before and after the match. But this recent development trumps them all by a long shot. Sport Áncash faced off against Acosvinchos in the Peruvian Second Division in a crucial promotion match, and the visitors made sure their local rivals didn't gain an advantage to reach the top tier of Peruvian football. It appears that the kit-men dropped sleeping pills into a number of water bottles, causing four Acosvinchos players to collapse unconscious during the match. Sport Áncash went on to win 3-0 and secure promotion.

Upon further testing at the hospital, doctors confirmed the presence of a drug causing a neurological condition that decreases a person's level of consciousness (aka sleeping pills). Acosvinchos directors are demanding an investigation and the match forfeited in their favor.

Sport Áncash president Pepe Mallqui responded with his own interpretation that a big meal before the match caused the players to collapse:

"They ate barbecued chicken with spices and ended up taking indigestion tablets afterwards. I'm sure these four men fainted because of that and the physical effort they put in."

Just like Alberto Contador tested positive for performance enhancing drugs because of bad meat?

Give me a break. Blaming spicy chicken, a players' digestive track, and lack of fitness as a triumvirate triple conspiracy is one of the worst excuses I've ever heard. They should replay the match, but have both teams stuff their faces with a BBQ chicken buffet beforehand. You know, level the playing field a bit.

WAG Wednesday Part 6 - Zaira Nara

Zaira Nara is an Argentine model and the girlfriend of Atletico Madrid's Diego Forlan - a guy with 123 goals in his last 212 club appearances. A guy with at least 16 goals in each of the past four seasons. Needless to say he's got the goods, and deserves the goods that come with being a superstar.

In fact, the contract of their relationship requires him to score double digit goals each season or else she'll ditch him for a more prolific scorer. Don't you just hate high maintenance chicks?

I guess I can make an exception for her based on the following:

UCL Matchday 3, Day 1 Top Goals

If you're seeking delicate footwork, finesse, or sleek interplay, look elsewhere. The best of yesterday's goals had a common theme - violence and power. Thunderous volleys from set pieces. Thunderous volleys from the field of play. And the poor goalies left helpless in their wake.

Video evidence after the jump:

Kick to the nuts gets 4 match suspension

Borussia Mönchengladbach midfielder Juan Arango has been suspended four matches after kicking Hoffenheim's Sejad Salihović over the weekend. A deserved straight red and an even more deserved suspension.

But just watch Salihović. The kick doesn't even hurt him!! After impact, he remains on his feet unharmed until falling like a sack of bricks a few seconds later. Arango knows it too.

So either Salihović wore a chastity belt or he's got no balls. Pretty pathetic either way.

Fat Ronaldo returns with a BANG

Fat Ronaldo, sidelined with an injury and incessant trips to McDonalds, held a press conference yesterday to announce his intentions of returning to the field for Corinthians this weekend.

At the conclusion of his remarks, Ronaldo lit a smoke bomb on stage with a little shit-smirk on his face. He later explained, "It was given to me by a comedian. I play poorly, and then disappear into the mist."

Well that sure is promising for Corinthians fans. The guy is already making his own jokes about how bad he'll be when he returns to the field! Unfortunately for Ronaldo, he may need a little bit more than smoke to make his plump frame disappear. Something more along the lines of fruits and vegetables might do...

Matches you can't miss this weekend

Club football is finally back!!  After a rather dreadful international break which would have been even worse had the Liverpool saga not entertained us, clubs finally return to the trenches for battle. There are two monster affairs taking place this weekend which you surely cannot miss. We begin, of course, with the biggest monster of them all on Merseyside.

EVERTON VS LIVERPOOL (Sunday, 8:30am Fox Soccer Plus)
Could the gods have set this up any better for us? As Liverpool trudge along with the sale of the club to NESV, which should go through today, they must now prepare themselves for their most bitter of rivals across Stanley Park. Throw out the record books this Sunday - previous head-to-head encounters mean nothing. Performances this season mean nothing since both teams stink. Who would have thought this match would be a relegation 6 pointer? Liverpool sit in the drop zone while Everton, who are even on points but enjoy a better goal differential, lie one spot ahead of their rivals in 16th. It's safe to say Everton are much better than their record would tell you, since they begin every season terribly. Liverpool on the other hand are as bad as their record shows. Most of their transfer acquisitions over the summer have been duds and Torres cannot remain healthy. And after all the anti-American vitriol spewed from the mouths of Liverpool supporters, they finally got their wish and now must turn all their attention to the field. Unfortunately, new owners won't bring them out of this relegation fight any time soon. Prediction: 2-1 Everton

BARCELONA VS VALENCIA (Sunday, 12:00pm ESPN Deportes)
The league leaders are coming to town...and it's not Barcelona. Yup, Valencia have defied every preseason prediction after losing the spine of their club, and sit top of the table with an unblemished away record to boast. Meanwhile, things are not very rosy in the Camp Nou. Xavi is expected to miss this match while David Villa is trying to stay healthy ahead the reunion with his old club. Their home form has been dreadful to say the least, 1-1-1. While many people would say this is one of those games where Barcelona is prime for the taking, I would have to completely disagree. We have seen all too often over the past few years in any competition that when Barcelona need to win, they produce the kind of performance that squashes any doubt of who is the best team on the planet. Sunday will be one of those days (or at least it needs to be!) Prediction: 2-0 Barcelona


MAINZ VS HAMBURG (Saturday, 9:30am)
The hosts and surprising league leaders go for history tomorrow. A win would be eight in eight, a new record for the Bundesliga. Aside from that, Mainz are a very entertaining side to watch and have one of the most lively and energetic managers of any club in Europe.

AC MILAN VS CHIEVO (Saturday, 12:00pm Fox Soccer Plus) 
An interesting match as 4th place Milan host 5th place Chievo. With the superstars peppering the Milan roster, any match of theirs is must see theater. But they have yet to look convincing since the arrivals of Ibrahimovic and Robinho. This will be a great litmus test for how good Milan truly are.


SCHALKE VS STUTTGART (Saturday, 9:30am)
A battle of the losers for teams that finished 2nd and 6th respectively last season. They now occupy the very bottom of the Bundesliga table. Let's just hope one, if not both of these teams can turn it around.

Weekend Couch Guide

Friday, October 15
2:00pm Cologne vs Dortmund (GolTV)

Saturday, October 16
9:30am Bayern Munich vs Hannover (GolTV)
10:00am Arsenal vs Birmingham (FSC)
10:00am Fulham vs Tottenham (FSC+)
10:00am Manchester United vs West Brom (ESPN2)
12:00pm AC Milan vs Chievo (FSC+)
12:00pm Atletico Madrid vs Getafe (GolTV)
12:30pm Aston Villa vs Chelsea (FSC)
2:00pm Barcelona vs Valencia (ESPN Deportes)
2:30pm Roma vs Genoa (FSC)
3:50pm Malaga vs Real Madrid (GolTV)
4:00pm Wolverhampton vs West Ham (FSC+)
8:30pm Newcastle vs Wigan - tape delay (FSC)

Sunday, October 17
2:00am Gold Coast United vs Adelaide United (FSC)
6:30am Cagliari vs Inter Milan (FSC+)
8:30am Everton vs Liverpool (FSC+)
8:30am Willem II vs PSV Eindhoven (ESPN Deportes)
9:00am Juventus vs Lecce (FSC)
11:00am Blackpool vs Manchester City (FSC)
11:00am Deportivo La Coruña vs Osasuna (ESPN Deportes)
11:30am Hoffenheim vs Borussia Monchenglasbach (GolTV)
1:00pm Athletic Bilbao vs Real Zaragoza (ESPN Deportes)
2:30pm Bari vs Lazio (FSC)
3:00pm Sporting Gijon vs Sevilla (GolTV)
3:00pm Lyon vs Lille (FSC+)

Chile's 33 miners finally taste freedom - so who do they all support?

Unless you're an idiot living in a dark hole, you probably heard the miraculous news out of Chile as all 33 miners were finally brought to the surface after two months and nine days underground. Well, now that they are healthy and free, it's back to the pub on weekends to watch their clubs compete in the Chilean Primera División. Who do they all support? I thought you'd never ask.

Turkish fans are a little upset

It's safe to say Turkish supporters are a bit frustrated with the shocking loss to Azerbaijan yesterday 1-0 (this after a 3-0 smacking by Germany on Friday). Sports paper Fanatik printed the above cover, picturing manager Guss Hiddink and his assistants with black eyes and other facial wounds. Hiddink himself called the loss, "the worst day of my career."

After this reaction, it doesn't look as though the team will have many more excuses to avoid public rebuke. It seems their patience has already worn thin.

Turkey currently sit third in Group A with six points - one behind Austria and six behind the leaders, Germany.

Photo courtesy of Bild

WAG Wednesday Part 5 - Ronaldinho's very own Sara Tommasi

Sara Tommasi is Ronaldinho's newest arm candy. I know, it is barely believable how a man so ugly could score such a woman. However, fame and fortune have their influence in the world of WAGs and this man has as much as any footballer out there.

Well done 'dinho. You've made all us decent looking guys feel completely inadequate. Thanks.

More pics and a video after the jump:

Pandemonium in Genoa

It was supposed to be an intriguing and hotly contested match between Italy v Serbia. Instead, the dark side of football reared its ugly head in a manner we have not seen in some time. After a delayed start and another stoppage, the ref deemed the match unsafe for the players (some players made that decision themselves) and called it off.

The violence began before the match outside the stadium as Serbian Ultras attacked their own team bus prompting goalkeeper Vladimir Stojkovic to withdraw as he was reportedly hit with a firework. Clashes with police ensued until they were able to enter the stadium.

 

Once inside, the antics continued. Fireworks, flares, and missiles pelted the field. A "Kosovo is Serbia" flag was unfurled which gave a hint to which group of supporters are suspected (this isn't the place for a history lesson but you're a quick google search away from one of the worst genocides since WWII). Then there's the masked ringleader - the tattoed idiot who sat atop the partition throughout the ordeal cutting the security netting and egging on the Ultras. He has since been arrested and identified as Ivan Bogdanov - a leader of one of Red Star Belgrade's supporter groups.

Serbia's players tried to calm the traveling supporters but to no avail. They set out with a purpose to sabotage this match and nothing would stop them.

The implications of this will be severe as UEFA weigh up their options - forfeiting the match (which is obvious) and possibly tossing Serbia from the qualification. A harsh proposition but fair nonetheless. Much more to follow but for now, here's a video and plenty more photos after the jump:

Incredible goal from kick-off!!

Scotland are known for not scoring goals. In fact, their senior squad deployed a striker-less formation in their weekend European qualifier. So I guess it is only fitting that they would score a goal like this. U21 Chris Maguire took the second half kick-off and launched it 50 yards into the back of the net.

It was short lived as Iceland sealed the win four minutes later with a thunderous strike of their own from Hoffenheim's Gylfi Sigurdsson:



All in all, a great day for the neutral.

Follow Liverpool's D-Day LIVE on the Guardian!!

On the most important day in Liverpool Football Club's history, Gillett and Hicks are off to the high court to block the sale of their club to NESV.

Follow the play-by-play account of proceedings from individuals in attendance at the court. CLICK HERE

Mourinho lashes out at Madrid press: "They'll kill you."

This is by far the best quote yet from Mourinho since arriving at Real Madrid. In an interview with GolTV, Mourinho exclaimed:

"I think that Real Madrid cannot have a coach with no track record. Right now there is a coach in place with 2 Champions Leagues...championships in different countries including league cups and 17 championships. Then I arrive here and create so much doubt [among the press], that if you are a title-less manager coming to manage [Madrid], they'll kill you"

Just brilliant. First of all, how many people out there can pull off talking in the third person with such arrogance and grace better than this guy? And for all the soundbites that come out of his mouth, this one really hits out at the Madrid base more than others.  

If God managed Real Madrid but couldn't produce the spectacular, he'd be crucified. Other than owning Liverpool, managing Madrid is the most futile and nonsensical job a person can have in football. But at the moment, Madrid have the BEST manager in the world at the helm. A guy who craved Real Madrid as a dream job.


So get off his ass. This is as good as it gets.

England keeper gets obliterated two days before Montenegro clash

The English never learn. The coaching staff never learns. The manager never learns. The players still haven't learned.

The backlash from this summer's World Cup was very straight forward - these players are thrust into fame and fortune at such a young age and don't know any better. They are irresponsible, rash, aggressive, hot-headed, and believe they as individuals are bigger than the game itself. So you'd think Capello would have cracked down on this type of behavior by those representing the Three Lions, especially the young ones new to the squad.

Not a chance. England's most talented goalkeeper, Joe Hart, spent his weekend at Puerto Banús in Marbella to celebrate (exactly what I'm not sure). Only days before a European qualifying clash against Montenegro, Hart was caught on video dancing atop a bar with two ladies and singing into a fake microphone. I don't know if you could qualify it as dancing, but it was some sort of bodily movement nonetheless. In fact, it was a significant improvement from the last dance routine he subjected the world to.

Just another example of entitlement and irresponsibility from the England camp, and a failure by the leaders of the team to prevent it. For England's sake, I hope he's better in goal than he is with his dance moves.

Who said celebrating with clothes on was cool?

Roma's Mirko Vucinic scored the winner and only goal for Montenegro on Friday to defeat the Swiss in a Euro qualifier. What happened next can be described as nothing short of an audition for Chippendales (video here). In a moment of ecstasy after an admittedly well worked and splendid finish, Vucinic wheeled away to the left, removed his shorts, and put them on his head.

It seems the home fans had become restless over the past year or so for having never seen his junk in person. You see Vucinic is a serial underwear offender and only the Roma supporters have been privy to his family jewels. This was his opportunity to settle the score with the home fans as he thrust...Montenegro to the top of Group G with three wins in three.

Looks like tighty-whities and junk are the winning formula. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!!