Why England won't win Euro 2012

Tactics, formations, players, subs, starters, weather, opponents. You can dissect them all and still not find the main reason England will not succeed at the European Championships in 2012.

All you need is this:

England keeper gets obliterated two days before Montenegro clash

The English never learn. The coaching staff never learns. The manager never learns. The players still haven't learned.

The backlash from this summer's World Cup was very straight forward - these players are thrust into fame and fortune at such a young age and don't know any better. They are irresponsible, rash, aggressive, hot-headed, and believe they as individuals are bigger than the game itself. So you'd think Capello would have cracked down on this type of behavior by those representing the Three Lions, especially the young ones new to the squad.

Not a chance. England's most talented goalkeeper, Joe Hart, spent his weekend at Puerto Banús in Marbella to celebrate (exactly what I'm not sure). Only days before a European qualifying clash against Montenegro, Hart was caught on video dancing atop a bar with two ladies and singing into a fake microphone. I don't know if you could qualify it as dancing, but it was some sort of bodily movement nonetheless. In fact, it was a significant improvement from the last dance routine he subjected the world to.

Just another example of entitlement and irresponsibility from the England camp, and a failure by the leaders of the team to prevent it. For England's sake, I hope he's better in goal than he is with his dance moves.

Being an English Goalkeeper is Tough

You might think the title refers to the rather obvious fact that English goalkeepers are sub-par for the most part. And while it is true, there is another more pressing issue for them. Not only are they committing blunders at an astonishing rate on the field, they have also been excluded from the latest hooker affair to hit the footballing world (and the second in England in two months).

This one involves England's biggest crock at the moment, Wayne Rooney. When he wasn't performing disappearing acts on the pitch for the national team, Wayne had sex with 21 year-old escort Jennifer Thompson of Bolton. To be precise, seven times in four months while his wife Colleen was pregnant with their first child.

While her parents believed she was serving drinks as a bartender, Jennifer was serving up her body instead to six defenders, three midfielders, and four strikers, with two of the players married with children. NO GOALKEEPERS!!  Is it because they make less money? Or did she watch the World Cup and make a logical business decision - find the best players with the most money and earn the most of your other hooker buddies. Sleep with a goalie and you'll be a laughing stock or broke.

Let's be straight here though. While I poke fun at this latest episode involving adultery and infidelity, it is completely inexcusable. Perhaps the English press should stop posting headlines calling their national team coach a jackass, and start attacking the heartless pigs who care more about spread-eagle young women than playing good football for their country - and who then use the manager as their excuse for playing so poorly.

And if you thought that was bad, England is also suffering from a rapid increase of injunctions granted by the High Court to allow footballers to keep their mistresses silent. And the media STILL blame Fabio Capello for England's football demise?

Perhaps this whole idea of blooding the young players is not simply because they are more skilled than the veterans who litter the roster at the moment, but they can guarantee 100% focus since they are too young to have wives and children to cheat on.  Just a thought...

(More photos of Ms. Thompson after the jump)

EPL Week 2 Wrap-Up

The number 6, scribbled three times in succession, has haunted the superstitious and religiously fanatic world for centuries as the mark of the devil. To be honest, superstitions don't quite do it for me. All they do is incite and create unnecessary fears. I do believe in karma though, and with a capital K, Karma swept through West London and Craven Cottage as the real Red Devils of United got bit in the ass. However, it's still impossible to ignore how the remainder of England witnessed devilry in the South, Northeast, and middle of the country as Arsenal, Chelsea, and Newcastle each put their opponents to the sword by a score of 6-0. In Chelsea's case it's the second successive game doing so.

Chelsea are running rampant having scored 29 goals in their last 5 league games. They already enjoy a +12 goal difference and don't appear to be letting up one bit.  It's hard to truly judge their dominance after wins over the likes of West Brom and Wigan. Especially Wigan, who have now been outscored 10-0 in the first two weeks following an opening day drubbing to newly promoted Blackpool. I was wrong to predict Roberto Martinez being sacked by Thanksgiving. It looks to be an overly generous prediction at that, and he could very well be axed by the end of September depending on how things progress. As for Chelsea, they're next three games are home to Stoke City, away to West Ham, and home to Blackpool. Sounds like another 20 some-odd goals. We'll get a better idea how good they really are the last week of September when they travel to Manchester City followed by a home stand against Arsenal. In the meantime, enjoy the goal-fest while it lasts Blues fans.

EPL Week 1 Wrap-Up

First weekend is in the books and to be quite honest, it was as exciting as any opening weekend in recent memory. Opening match days are always an entertaining affair - newly promoted teams, reigning champs setting out to defend their trophies, the one month of the year when the UK enjoys sunlight and warm weather... This weekend had a different feel to it though. A sense that there was so much more at stake for every team involved. Whereas in years past the EPL has mirrored Spain and Scotland's two horse race, but with four teams, there are new kids on the block disrupting the established order. It is no longer a formality that Chelsea, United, Arsenal, and Liverpool will claim Champions League spots. Clubs are in economic shambles, so the money earned by qualifying for a European tournament is a vital lifeline. Throw in the fact that an extremely quiet transfer window has resulted in minor changes (except on the blue side of Manchester of course), and you can see why this past weekend made first impressions ever so important.

The results were a mix of the expected and the extremely unexpected. For the latter, we go straight to the DW Stadium in Wigan.

Practice Makes Perfect

Creativity in the Spanish camp apparently runs through every level of their national football program. The U-19 squad converted this cheeky, cheeky, cheeky free kick against England today in the semi-finals of the U-19 European Championships.

Right off the training pitch: