In Memorium - Paul the Octopus 2008-2010

Since Paul never had a chance to complete his will, please help determine what should be done with him by answering the question above.

Are or you're an asshole, you can start following Maradona on Twitter who supposedly wrote "I'm glad you're dead" in response to Paul's passing.

France sponsors want their money back - Part 2

As reported a little over a week ago, three of the main sponsors of the French national team were demanding compensation for the repulsive behavior of the team during the World Cup while donning their logos. As if that was not embarrassing enough, the situation has only worsened.

Now, everybody wants a piece of the FFF. All twelve of the team's sponsors have agreed on a payment scale in which "there will be bonuses and penalties based on results and image," according to FFF vice-president Noel Le Graet. The sponsors can reward a 10-15% bonus if the team starts winning games and, in the process, conducts themselves like normal, civilized, human beings. If not, they will reduce their contributions by the same amount.

Does this not hark back to your childhood? I remember my mother offering me cookies and sweets when I behaved well. Obviously, time-out in the corner resulted from being a brat. This is exactly what has transpired in France, and it is so pathetic yet hilarious all at once.

If you act like a baby, you'll be treated like one. Come to think of it, I'd throw lots of money behind a Toddler XI to beat this current French squad any day of the week. Then the sponsors would pull the plug on France and the new fad in world football would be Pampers!

It could happen ya know...

World Cup champs receive their weight...in beer

Trophies...keys to the city...medals...videos...photos -  the spoils of war for winning the World Cup. But let's be honest, all these things will hang on the wall or sit in a case and remain untouched and unused for years to come. That is what winning the World Cup gets you? Nonsense!!

Thank heavens the Spaniards have other options. Cruzcampo, one la selección's main sponsors, has decided to reward their champions with a different type of memento. Something that won't collect dust and become obsolete in a year's time. Something that will generate continued celebration and debauchery for months and months to come - BEER.

Yesterday, one by one, the squad stepped onto the "beer scale," which measured their weight in kilos and converted that into liters. However much brawn you brought to the table determined the number of cases you walked out with.

In total, the team amassed 1,734 liters of beer. The most went to Basque striker Fernando Llorente, pictured above, weighing in at 94.6kg (approx 209 lbs). Poor little Jesús Navas who weighs all of 60kg (approx 132lbs) only went home with 180 beers...

Oktoberfest?! Pff. Looks like Novemberfest, Decemberfest, and maybe even Januaryfest are in order for the world champions. 

Friday Links!

(marca)

A great collection of look alikes for members of Manchester United [Right this way]


Sky Sports (England's ESPN) released an indescribable commercial for their brand spankin' new season. [Chicks in leather]


An insight into how American politics interact with football. I promise you won't find another article like it. [Click]


UEFA's cowardly response to goal-line techonology [The Guardian]


More disgusting and despicable behavior from South American club football [Managers starting fights]


All of the World Cup murals you may, or may not, have seen [Artwork this way]

Iniesta's Battle Scars

Very ouch baby.

A Final Farewell to World Cup 2010

The planet has shifted back to reality. Parties and celebrations have come to a close. With England reporting an estimated loss of $1.5-2.3 billion in productivity during the tournament, we can now all return to work and actually do work. I on the other hand, am the anomaly. Having DVR'ed every single game of this tournament, my daily goal was to avoid every game and every score (zero internet). Productivity from my end sky rocketed! My imbalance has now leveled out. After what we witnessed this past month, it would behoove international football to find its balance as well.

South Africa 2010 was a monumental tournament, because it initiated a mammoth shift in the way football is, and will be played on the international level for years to come. Sure, we bitched and moaned about the lack of goals early on. The defensive tactics, non-existent creativity, and cagey gameplans. But now that this tournament is over, and the fewest goals have been scored in years, it's pretty safe to say that this was no fluke. There are a number of causes - each with it's own ramifications on how we will see the game played out before our eyes 4 years from now in Brazil.

Wrapping Up Celebrations in Spain

The moments and memories of winning a World Cup last a lifetime. In realistic terms though, it's about 24 hours. Spain's rocking fiesta came to a close at midnight yesterday. All of the players have flown home from Madrid or straight to their holiday destinations. Here's some of the best sites and sounds from the past day...

World Cup Best/Worst

The Best Names:
Siphiwe Tshabalala - South Africa - sounds like a Christmas carol
Surprise Moriri - South Africa - Surprise! You only got to play 33 minutes this tournament!
Boubacar Barry - Cameroon - Can't go wrong with alliteration
Blaise Nkufu - Switzerland - What makes this special is that it's pronounced as one word...say it with me now: blazin-kufu
Georgie Welcome - Honduras - Welcome to this list, Welcome.

The Best "Classy" Goals

These are the ones that take a bit more to appreciate. It's not always the finish, but the build up which makes a goal beautiful. A cutting through ball, one-touch passing, back heels, flicks. This is artistry at it's best, where skill and concentration trump power and determination.

Here are the classiest goals of World Cup 2010:

The Worst Misses of the World Cup

There's only 2 here. Yeh there were tons of misses from point blank range but quite frankly, nothing comes close to these 2..

Thankfully for Yakubu, Nigeria still scored a few minutes after this...


Unfortunately Asamoah Gyan and the rest of Ghana didn't have the same luxury. This is one of the worst of all time when you consider what's at stake:

The Best "Highlight Reel" Goals

These are the ones people talk about at the water cooler. The ones that make the Top 10 on Sportscenter accompanied by horrifyingly terrible mispronunciations of players' names by the anchors. The ones that result in shenanigans from the TV and radio commentators (and boy are we lucky we can watch their antics).

So, I give you my top "highlight reel" goals of the tournament (in no particular order)...

One Spain...for now

Once again, football has achieved what politicians never could. In a scene that Spain has never witnessed in all it's history, every region of the country took to the streets to celebrate as one people. Spain was one country last night - one unified people flying the same flag and supporting the same establishment. I noticed the difference immediately. Back in 2008 when Spain defeated Germany in the final of the European Championship, every player draped themselves in their own respective regional flags. Sunday evening? Not a chance. No regional flags. Only a group of 23 guys wearing La Roja with the World Cup star freshly woven above the crest.

I was anxious to see how the country would experience the game. The Catalan government in Barcelona agreed, for the first time in HISTORY, to erect a fan zone for people to watch the final - to allow the people to openly support Spain. Tens of thousands crammed Avenida Maria Cristina in front of the beautiful art museum to take in the final. The celebrations and rioting afterwards actually resulted in more arrests than any other city in the country...go figure.




What about Pais Vasco? Reports today indicate that 75% of the Basque population watched the final. In Barakaldo, Ermua, Bilbao, San Sebastian - fans took to the streets and celebrated the win.

Now I know that for many of you, your jaw isn't dropping to the floor. So let me at least try and give you an idea why this is so epic. Fans in Barakaldo were greeted with this outside their viewing party. It's not much but it just goes to show you that the 25% who didn't watch the game were protesting in some fashion. They could never support the country even in a World Cup final. To them, it was as if 2 other countries were playing for the trophy - neither of them their own.

Then of course there's Barcelona. What makes the party on Sunday so incredible is what happened on Saturday. Depending on who you ask, 60,000-1.1 million people took to the streets. Only they were there to protest a decision by the constitutional court which stripped from the Spanish constitution certain amendments that granted Catalunya the legal right to declare itself a "nation" and to privilege the Catalan language over Spanish (all the schools up until college are taught in Catalan). A day before the biggest sporting event in history, the Catalans were stripped of practically every legal right they had to consider themselves a nation within Spain. And the very next day, everything I mentioned above took place to celebrate Spain.

It's tough to put into words the fractured relationship within this country. I had hoped before the final that they would put aside their political and cultural differences and give united support to the players and the country. My wish came true. And if only for a day or two, the scenes in every plaza of every city can and will never be replicated with a treaty or a speech or a politician's agenda. Football has the ability to break down barriers where no other options are available. The power of this sport reared its head once again.

For one night in July, Spain was a united Spain.

Celebrations Outside of Spain

Washington Square Park - New York City:



Columbus Circle - New York City:



South Beach - Miami:



Los Angeles:



Madness across London:

A Proper Tribute

Just a quick note here about Andres Iniesta and Sergio Ramos' touching tributes to 2 players who were watching the match from above.

After scoring the game winner, Iniesta ripped off his jersey to reveal a heartfelt message to Dani Jarque - "Siempre con nosotros" - "Always with us." The 26 year old captain of RCD Espanyol (the other team in Barcelona), Jarque was found dead in his hotel room last year - the victim of a heart attack. It was a moment that shocked the entire country and brought the city of Barcelona together. He was also Iniesta's teammate on the Spanish under-19 and under-20 team. I don't think Andres really cared about that yellow card he received for taking his shirt off.

You will have also noticed that Sergio Ramos always looks to the sky during the Spanish national anthem (he and Jesus Navas also wore special t-shirts after the game). He looks to the sky at his childhood friend Antonio Puerta. In August 2007 the 22 year old left-back for Sevilla, who was the future of the position for Spain and would have been on the squad in South Africa, suffered a heart attack on the field during a game. After a series of more cardiac arrests over the next three days, he finally passed - leaving behind his girlfriend who was 8 months pregnant with their first child.

Spain dedicated their win to Jarque and Puerta, and did so with the class that both of those players embodied during their tragically short careers.

Beauty Defeats the Beast

(marca.com)

After 120 minutes of some of the most disgraceful football I have ever seen, especially on a platform like the World Cup final, brute force lost. Beauty and guile won. In a game that saw 14 yellow cards, horrendous tackles, and one flying kung-fu kick, Spain managed to nick another late goal to secure the ever so classy one-nil victory (their fourth on the trot).

The Dutch did everything I expected them to do. They came out and actually held good possession for the opening 10 minutes. Every Spaniard on the ball had very limited time to act. What I also expected, which unfortunately came true, were the bullying tactics. I knew - I KNEW - that Van Bommel and De Jong wouldn't make it out of this match without a yellow card each. When that final whistle blew, it was shocking both were actually still on the field. What a disgusting pair of players. Absolutely shocking disregard for the safety and well being of other people on the field. Every one of the tackles was studs up, late, from behind, or any combination of those.

Iker - Get. Your. Girl.

Poor Sara. She was thrown under the bus and made the scapegoat for Spain's opening loss to Switzerland. After all, no team had ever lost their opening game and went on to lift the World Cup. Well guess what, this tournament was a first for everything.

So afterwards, during their interview which is always so incredibly awkward to watch, Iker slapped a nice fatty on his ever so adorable girlfriend. Throw that on the front pages!  (note how super embarrassed she is afterwards)

World Cup Final Food for Thought

(that's how they roll in David Villa's hometown of Tuilla. Courtesy of Marca)

A couple snippets to get you ready for the final:

A ROYAL AFFAIR: The Spanish royal family is no stranger to football. The Queen of Spain was on hand to witness Spain defeat Germany on Wednesday (and got a great look of Carles Puyol in a towel afterwards - 1:15 into the video). Their son and his attractive princess will be joining the Queen for the final.

The Dutch show off their royal family just as proudly. Willem-Alexander, Prince of Orange, and his wife Máxima Zorreguieta Cerruti, attended the Dutch semifinal versus Uruguay. She ain't too shabby either. It's also interesting to note that she was born in Argentina and her father's family is of Basque descent. She ain't the queen yet so I think she owes her allegiance to Spain...

MORE ENGLAND BASHING: Of the 117 players from the EPL who started this tournament, only 5 are left. Coincidence? I'll let you decide...

SEXY DUTCH FANS: Here, here, and here.  Not to mention the player's arm candy.

SEXY SPANISH FANS: Here, here, and of course Iker's girlfriend

THE REFEREE: Ten things you need to know about the man who will officiate the final - Howard Webb

World Cup Final Preview

WHEN SPAIN HAVE THE BALL

Well it's obvious this will be a common sight. The question is where the weaknesses are in the Dutch defense. Gio van Bronckhorst is no Jerome Boatang of Germany who was subbed off in the 52nd minute against Spain, so attacking down the right will be a bit more difficult this time around for Sergio Ramos. I think the best bet would be the left side against Gregory van der Wiel - a 22 year old lil' baby instead of the 35 year old captain. As good as he is and will be, van der Wiel is ill prepared for the mental discipline needed to defend against the movements of Pedro (if he starts), Iniesta, and Villa.

Busquets and Xabi Alonso will need to help Xavi more than they have in previous games. Mark Van Bommel and Nigel De Jong are two big and very physical midfielders who will surely smother anything that enters the center circle. In order to free up Xavi, he cannot be forced to come back too deep to receive the ball. Meaning, Busquets and/or Alonso will need to push up a bit farther to provide a little wiggle room for the maestro. Allow Xavi to get closer to the forwards where he can send that killer pass into the box. Otherwise, the Dutch midfield will squeeze him out.

Lastly, that free flowing movement up front will be key once again...assuming Pedro gets the start. Pedro and Iniesta switching from right to left and vice versa will keep the Dutch defense on edge. Villa will have to be a different player than he is when Torres plays, but the gaps will be there for him. This Dutch defense is a tad inferior to the Germans, which should bode well for the men up front. I want to say that because it's a final, many goals will be necessary to win. However, with this team we know that isn't the case. Score first - that's the most important.

WHEN THE NETHERLANDS HAVE THE BALL

Which will be sparse. However, they have the key to unlock that high defensive line the Spanish play, and his name is Wesley Sneijder. The second best midfielder on the planet only needs a split second to turn and release a devastating ball behind the back 4. I would expect Ramos and Capdevila to push up as they have all tournament from their defensive positions. That will leave TONS of space to exploit on the counter. Ramos has always been faulted for being caught out of position so Dirk Kuyt will have plenty of open space to run at on the left side. As for Robben on the right, whether it's open space or simply a one-on-one (perhaps Capdevila will be a bit less adventurous knowing the threat he leaves open behind him), he is MUCH quicker than Capdevila and should have no problem beating him.

Going through the middle won't work. We have all seen how relatively boring this Dutch team has been, lacking any sort of fluidity and creativity. The middle is going to be a war zone of tackling and it would be best to spread the Spanish lines and give themselves as much room to operate as possible.

Have a go from distance. Although Casillas is coming off his best game between the posts, he is still not the same keeper he was 2 years ago. The Dutch players should give him an early run-around and see if they can capitalize on any howlers. As for their central striker, I expect Van Persie to be a non factor again. He's drifted off many times this tournament and has been almost as inept as Fernando Torres. Now he's going to try and conjure up some confidence to go at Pique and Puyol? Don't see it happening.

PREDICTION
I've heard certain loonies claim that this Spain is boring to watch. After breaking down the argument, it ultimately centered on the lack of goals they are scoring. In response to that, someone said that compared to 2 years ago, "It's almost like they've gone too far." And I can see what he's saying. They have mastered this style of football to such an extent that they are are content with a different style of winning. 3, 4, 5 goals aren't needed anymore. The defense has gotten better, possession has been easier to hold, they get the ball back quicker than they used to, 1 goal is more than enough. It's a scary thought, but one that you have to admire. There is absolutely nothing boring about watching a team so comfortable in their style of play, break down an opposing team bit by bit. It's like a clinic in cruel and unusual punishment, knowing that death blow lies in wait somewhere.

I don't want to completely minimize the chances for this Dutch team to win, because they will have their chances. Whether or not they cash them in is a different matter altogether. The Germans were the team that had the deadliest combination of counter attacks this tournament that could unseat the Spanish and it simply didn't work. Yes, the Dutch will more than likely pressure the ball and not allow them as much time as the Germans did. But remember, no team applies more pressure on the ball than the Spanish! So when the Dutch get it, they'll need to be quick and incisive. They haven't shown that to date and there's no reason for me to believe they will now.

The better team will win the this game. The best team in this tournament will lift the trophy.

2-1 to Spain. Viva España.

Paul the Octopus Picks Spain

In case you've been on a different planet, that nasty creature has been picking games for Germany the entire World Cup. To date, he has correctly picked each of Germany's 6 matches, win or lose. Based at the Sea Life Aquarium in the western German city of Oberhausen, Paul was set lose this morning and settled with the Spanish mussel.

The Spanish environment and fisheries minister, Elena Espinosa, added, "On Monday, I shall be at the European Council of Ministers and I shall be asking for a [fishing] ban on Paul the octopus so the Germans do not eat him." I really don't think she's half joking...

The Bigger Picture in Spain

"It's not always easy for a Barcelona player to be a symbol of Spain," remarked Martin Tyler after Carles Puyol sent Spain to the finals. Forget the fact that he plays for Barcelona, he's Catalan.

For decades, Spain has been a fractured society. Made up of about 19 autonomous regions, each one treats itself as separate from Spain. They all claim to speak their own language. Yes, it's all Spanish with different dialects, but go to Sevilla and they'll tell you they speak Andalucian. Go to A Coruña and they speak Galician. Even within the Catalan regions, people in Valencia speak Valencian, not Catalan.

Football has been no different. Athletic Bilbao has been around since 1898, and in that time they have ONLY fielded Basque players on their team. No Spaniards, no Catalans, no islanders. Basque only. The rivalry between Madrid and Barcelona gets caught up in so much politics that you forget there's even a game going on. It goes all the way up to the national team - where for years Raul stood tall in the locker room. A proud Madridista who wasn't shy about his political orientation, he often prevented the team from gelling as a cohesive unit. He intimidated newcomers, and made any outsider feel very uncomfortable. The team was split into many small groups of players. It's no surprise they choked in every single tournament, and then won the first chance they got when Raul was dropped.