Barcelona's Travel Woes

Aaaah logistics. Nitty gritty minutiae that deal with the most mundane of subjects and content. Nobody really enjoys dealing with them, but at the end of the day, they are the glue that hold together any planned outing. So, I will now bore you with a problem that is receiving ample space in local newspapers in Barcelona: How to get to Ceuta?

Ceuta is Barcelona's opponent later this month in the Copa del Rey. The problem is, Ceuta is not located in Spain...it's in Morocco. Located just across the Straight of Gibralter, this autonomous city of 75,000 has dealt the Catalans a bit of a headache. You can't fly there because there is no airport. You can't take a train because the Straight is in the way. And you can't walk because, well, that's just not possible. So, here are the options being considered:

OPTION 1: Fly to Málaga in southern Spain, take a coach to the coastal city of Algeciras, ride the ferry to Ceuta.

OPTION 2: Fly to Málaga, coach to Algeciras, helicopter into Ceuta.

OPTION 3: Fly to Tetouan, Morocco, coach to Ceuta

The helicopter ride would take only 10 minutes compared to the 30 by boat. Also, it would avoid any potential sea sickness problems along the way as the meeting point of the Atlantic and Mediterranean isn't always the smoothest. We wouldn't want the players to be wretching just hours before the match! However, the helicopters can only hold 12-15 passengers or even less, which means the team would have to commandeer an entire fleet. Oh, and the helicopters are 95 euros each way.

Believe it or not, this is practically front page material in Barcelona. How poor old Barcelona will get to Ceuta to field a youth squad against the third division side. Although there is something rather arrogant yet dashing about flying in on helicopters, landing just next to the stadium, and walking out like FBI agents in any movie ever made. Yet it also degrades the local side a bit - arriving to take care of business and then leaving right out of the parking lot in their fancy helicopters.

Judge as you will, but it's rather obvious option 2 is their best bet. How could you NOT take helicopters to a match?!

UCL Matchday 2, Day 2 Top Goals

The best very best goals from Wednesday's Champions League action.

WAG Wednesday Part 2 - Adriana Karembeu

Adriana Karembeu is the face of the French Football Association's newest advertisement for women's football. To be honest, they'll likely find more men than women signing up to play.

When she's not looking fine in a football uniform, the Slovakian actress/model usually clings to the arm of her husband, former French international Christian Karembeu (they met on an airplane). Not bad Christian. Not bad at all.

France sponsors want their money back

The principal sponsors of the French Football Federation (FFF) - Adidas, GDF Suez, and Crédit Agricole - are pissed off at the French World Cup team. Most sponsors expect their clients to represent them with professionalism, dignity, and integrity. Unfortunately, none of those endearing qualities can be attributed to any of the 23 men in South Africa over the summer.

Now, the three sponsors would like to be reimbursed to the tune of €4.5 million (I'm surprised it's not more) for unwillingly being the face of the French insurrection. This marks the very first time a country's major sponsors have asked for compensation of their investment.

A spokesman for GDF Suez issued the following remarks:

"We are outraged by what has happened. It is a lack of respect for everyone, and something we have never seen before. We well henceforth examine all contracts [with the FFF] through 2014. We cannot ignore what has happened here, as it is very serious. The French team have completely defaced the sport and their country."

Tell us how you really feel. If I were them, I'd completely pull out of the deal completely. Adidas is doing pretty without this, as are the other two major corporations. And if they aren't, find a different team since nobody in their right mind is clearing time on their schedules to watch the French national team compete. You're probably getting less exposure with that team than you would with Slovenia or Lichtenstein.

WAG Wednesday Part 1 - Orsi Feher

Hungarian model Orsi Feher is the girlfriend of Atlético Madrid manager Quique Sánchez Flores aka the Spanish James Bond. Would you expect any less from him?

The best part is she doesn't just shop and look good. She watches every match whether in person or on television. And according to her, all they talk about is football - tactics, players, positives and negatives.

A hot girl with a football IQ? No better way to start this new Wednesday series.

More shots of Ms. Feher after the jump:

UCL Matchday 2, Day 1 Top Goals

The best very best goals from Tuesday's Champions League action.

The perfect girlfriend

Meet Mélody Donchet. The 20 year old Frenchie has freestyle skills that make your jaw drop. She also happens to be rather cute.

She is: the perfect girlfriend.

The Spirit of Shankly take their protests worldwide

There is never a dull moment with Liverpool - especially when the Spirit of Shankly is running things. You know in Argentina and other parts of South America, the barra bravas (their hooligan ultras) actually have a say in club policy. It is common knowledge that these supporter groups can nominate candidates and manipulate elections and club policy. The Spirit of Shankly is simply a bunch of idiots who have zero say in any matter of Liverpool Football Club and resort to bullying tactics and pathetic displays of protest against their American owners. Nothing they do, or have ever done, has forced the club to act one way or another. As one Daily Mail columnist explained a few months back in response to a planned march, the fans were marching from a bar they would be at anyway before the match to a stadium they were planning to be at anyway for the match. Great planning guys.

The Spirit of Shankly has made the Liverpool ownership position the most undesirable job on the planet. Who in their right mind would want to buy this club? One wrong decision and they'll take to the streets, or they will sing to the demise of the owner's home country, or spit in his face, or stage sit-ins after the game, or carry out a real protest by not - o wait, they've never once boycotted matches.

And let's just say the club are sold, all is well? Liverpool magically climb from 16th position? The team miraculously stops sucking? No. They will continue to lose and be a sub-par team. But at least the Yanks would be out.

Now that we've covered that, the Spirit of Shankly has carried out a new audacious campaign barring Hicks and Gillette from every corner of the world. It is actually mildly humorous, but also a sure sign of the pathetic desperation these fans have resorted to.

More photos after the jump:

Barcelona Man Love

Dani Alves and Victor Valdes share a very similar last name. The other day, they decided to share a little bit more than just a name. In a moment of uncensored aggresive and passionate lust, Valdes thrusted himself into the Barcelona right back.

If Victor ever wondered why women always wanted to turn the lights off during sex, he need only look at this picture. Look at Busquets! He can't get away fast enough!

You don't become one of the best clubs in recent memory without off the field bonding and team unity. This union may be a bit too much for comfort though.

Charlie Davies recounts the moment he regained consciousness after his accident: "I'm in a hostel and they're trying to steal my organs"

The pictures speak for themselves. On October 13, 2009, Charlie Davies found himself in a horrific car crash, which claimed the life of one of the passengers. His injuries blow your mind and make you wonder how he is still alive: broken tibia and fibula, broken femer, lacerated bladder, fractured and dislocated left elbow, shattered nose, cheeks and forehead (for which they pulled down skin from the top of his head down to the chin to reconstruct). He probably has more metal in his body now than Wolverine.

Somehow, some way, Davies has recovered in a shockingly short time frame. He has already played a number of matches for the Sochaux reserve team and hopes to be back fully fit to play again for the United States in next year's Gold Cup.
In an interview on World Football Daily last week, Charlie went into chilling detail about the very first moments when he regained consciousness after the accident:

Kid gets a face full of goal post

Here's a prime example of following your shot. After taking a rather dreadful PK, the shooter chases down the rebound hoping to slot the ball into an empty net with the goalie having lunged in the opposite direction. Problem is, the shooter is TERRIBLY slow and allows the goalie to scramble back and tackle the ball away...

What happens next is fabulous. The poor kid eats the post with an emphatic clank, sending head and body flying backwards. At least his teammate was around to knock the ball in off the other team for a well deserved own goal. From all accounts, the kid may have the post tattooed on his face for a little.

David Villa sees red for left jab

Lost in Barcelona's 3-1 win over Athletic Bilbao on the weekend was David Villa's straight red card which will very likely result in a 2-3 game suspension. In some fairness to Villa, Gurpegi was riding him like a jockey and somehow avoided a whistle himself with the referee standing nearby. However, Villa lashed out with his left fist and was immediately sent off. An end to a frustrating evening no doubt.

And a frustrating season as well, as Villa has only found the back of the net three times in all competitions. For some players that would be a thrill. But not the calibre of Villa. 31 shots, two posts, nine turned aside by great goalkeeping. He's also given the ball away 61 times, most of any player on the team.

You can only really point to bad luck. Obviously, his summer was a successful one and it seemed as though he could score blindfolded at the World Cup. He has had a number of guilt-edged chances so far this season but simply can't score, and we all know he is one the deadliest strikers on the planet. This punch was expected at some point, I imagine, and the Barcelona press have practically ignored the entire episode. Their only worry is that he may miss his first opportunity to face former club Valencia. It only goes to show that they, and any Barcelona fan for that matter, are confident he will start scoring at some point. He is just too good not too.

Hopefully this is the first and last such episode from Villa. A team already thinned out at the forward position can ill afford less options.

Sara Carbonero slips, almost falls, gives the audience a revealing shot

Happy Monday! We'll get to the football in a bit but I thought there is no better way to start the week than with Footy for the Soul's favorite gal - Sara Carbonero.

A couple days ago Sara was backstage at a talk show, strutting her stuff, and looking incredible doing so. Suddenly, her left heel gave way and she headed for the floor. However, Sara showed great balance and athleticism to keep herself from making a complete fool of herself, and in the process gave us a rather revealing glimpse up her skirt. In fact, she actually paused for a split second to make sure everyone noticed. Thank you, Sara. Thank you.

Full video with slow motion replay after the jump:

League leaders Mainz put Bayern to the sword with two cracking goals

They came for the day to take care of business. No, seriously. With Oktoberfest ongoing, no hotel offered peace and quiet for the visiting team. So instead, they flew to Munich Saturday morning, out classed and shut down Bayern, then jumped on a plane to head home. Six matches. Six wins. Ten points clear of last year's champs.

In what was an open and very lively affair, Mainz impressed and showed no nerves whatsoever. They also claimed two superb highlights for goals.

Allagui's cheeky back heel for the first:



Szalai's classy winner:

Ball boys gone mad

On Wednesday, Belgian side Lierse hosted Anderlicht in Round 8 of the Pro League, and made the experience none too easy for the visitors. Especially goalkeeper Silvio Proto. After retrieving his own ball for a goal kick, one of Lierse's ball boys gave him a piece of mind - instead of the ball. So good in fact, that Proto looks over his shoulder three times before getting back on the field where he is subsequently hit by flying debris.

Unfortunately, we don't know what was said, but the kid didn't stop there. After the match was over, he waited on the sideline to confront the goalkeeper as stewards struggled to keep the little fire cracker at bay. No punches were thrown, except for a rather sarcastic round of applause.

Which got me thinking - this is surely not the first time ball boys have caused trouble with opponents. Here is some video evidence to back it up:

Tottenham ball boy vs Famagusta

Chelsea ball boy snubs Gerrard handshake

Brazil ball boy scores a goal...THAT COUNTS

Tottenham "ball man" vs Robert Pires

Hannover ball boy vs crazy Jens Lehman

17 year old does her best Maradona impression

There's not much commentary I can add to this. Just make sure your volume is turned up and you can hear. Her name is Kumi Yokoyama, and she scored this winner to send Japan to the women's U-17 World Cup where they will face South Korea. You tell me what's more shocking: the goal itself or the lunatic with the microphone.

Cruyff has asteroid named after him

According to De Telegraaf, asteroid 14282 has been renamed Johan Cruyff after an initiative led by Dutch science journalist Carl Koppeschaar. Cruyff is 9km in diameter and makes its way around the sun every 5 years, 3 months, and 18 days. It can currently be found over 400 million km from the sun in between Mars and Jupiter.

Koppeschaar started a petition to rename the asteroid after the Dutch great a few years back. "He was not only a great football, but also very committed to his Foundation and others. Now, he is the first Dutch sports champion in the sky." Koppeschaar tried to contact Cruyff to inform him of the news before it became public. Cruyff, however, was too busy criticizing someone or something in the world of football.

Cruyff the asteroid was discovered by astronomer couple Ingrid and Cees van Houten.

As if he really needed something else to inflate his ego.

Ferguson had better things to do than manage his own squad

On a day where Manchester United demolished Scunthorpe United 5-2 in the Carling Cup to avoid another shocking upset on the day, Sir Alex was nowhere to be seen. Under the weather? Banned? Sick relative? None of the above. Ferguson was actually in Spain...to watch their Champions League group stage opponent Valencia face off against Atletico Madrid at the Mestalla. As a result, the "legend" of Bebe remains intact has SAF still has yet to witness him in the flesh. So too did Michael Owen's two-goal performance go unnoticed.

Does anyone else see a problem in this? Understandably, the Carling Cup is the least important and most meaningless of all the competitions. But there is a principal here being shit on. The manager of a club should have no right to completely abandon his squad on game day to scout teams in another countries. And why is the FA silent on the matter? After all, they claim to be the judge and jury when deciding if a manager has fielded his strongest squad, and will levy heavy fines if they deem otherwise. Yet, they see no problem in managers choosing when to manage.

The bigger issue here is that SAF did not simply scout his future opponent. He was doing business!! Rumors are circulating the United skipper is now in for Atletico keeper David De Gea and fancies the 19 year old as a future replacement for Van Der Sar.

Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. SAF has a job to do as manager of Manchester United and that is to manage his team. If there are future foes in Europe he wants to prepare for, then send scouts or go when your team isn't playing. Think about the young kids on United's squad. The Carling Cup is a competition for the youth prospects of every club to make their mark and impress the manager. It is really the only time they can expect significant playing time. And yet their manager could care less. He had better things to do.

It's time the FA act. Ferguson continues to get away with murder on a weekly basis, and they look gutless by turning a blind eye.

(Photo courtesy of Marca)