Mario Ballotelli made his Premier League debut over the weekend with two goals and a red card. The Italian kicked out at an opponent prompting his marching orders, and a three match suspension which unfortunately rules him out of today's enormous derby with Manchester United.
In his absence over the next few weeks, it seems only fitting to feature his wonderfully adorable girlfriend today, Melissa Castagnoli. The 19 year old former Miss Italy finalist was once brutally attacked by another girl jealous of her looks, resulting in a broken nose and some bruises.
Looks like she found the right guy to prevent that from happening again any time soon.
A beautiful and unblemished Ms. Castagnoli after the jump:
Tactics, formations, players, subs, starters, weather, opponents. You can dissect them all and still not find the main reason England will not succeed at the European Championships in 2012.
Nobody wants to be a goalkeeper these days. Ever since Robert Green set the position on a tormenting downward spiral during the World Cup into levels of pathetic ineptitude we have not seen in years, other keepers appear to be falling down with him. From those bozos in Morocco, to Heurelho Gomes against Manchester United, to any keeper Arsenal has fielded, the blunders in the net have reached every corner of the globe.
I figured it would be easiest to condense some of these events, as they appear to take place every weekend in mass numbers. First up is another keeper getting too excited, too early. After watching his opponent lash the ball off the crossbar, the goalkeeper peeled away thanking the heavens. Little did he know, as apparently the penalty kick taker and the referee did, the ball ricocheted straight up into the air and bounced into the back of the net. His reaction upon realizing his mistake is priceless.
In Moldova, Edgars Gauračs (number 11) showed off his wily and cunning abilities for FC Sheriff Tiraspol. After his teammate missed a PK and the rebound, Gauračs quietly tip-toed out of the net, waiting for the keeper to get rid of the ball. Now, the goalie could have punted the ball instead of dropping it on the ground. He also could have LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER to make sure there were no stragglers behind him. Smart goalkeepers with awareness make that a habit like breathing.
You can imagine what happens next, Gauračs steals the ball immediately and slots home the goal.
Once a scouse, always a scouse. Kim Cattrall, better known as Samantha Jones having more than plenty of sex in the city, re-embraced her childhood roots by attending the Liverpool vs Chelsea match over the weekend at Anfield.
Liverpool captain Stevie Gerrard invited Cattrall as his guest to sit in his private box, just in front of the skipper's bodacious blonde wife, Alex Curran. And while Curran undoubtedly recognized the Sex in the City star, I can assure you the feeling wasn't mutual. I guess making the back pages for prancing around in Gucci handbags with your children dressed in Louis Vuitton outfits is not breaking news outside of England.
You're probably unaware of the fact that Cattrall was born in Liverpool and promptly relocated with her family to Canada at 3 months. However, she returned at the age of 11 when her grandmother became ill, until departing once again at the age of 16. The year of her departure saw Liverpool win the English First Division and UEFA Cup, a nice sending off for the aspiring actress.
Scheduled to perform in a production of Antony and Cleopatra in Liverpool's Playhouse theater, Cattrall could be seen belting out the club's anthem, "You'll Never Walk Alone" both before and after the match. And rightfully so, as her club defeated league leading Chelsea 2-0 off two splendid Fernando Torres goals.
We've seen protests in Greece by disgruntled supporters who resorted to vandalism and destruction of their own team's pitch to have games suspended or re-scheduled. Classless and pathetic to say the least. We've also seen supporters in Italy protest lunch time kick-offs by bringing packed lunches to the matches.
It appears the Swiss also have a knack for the creative and non-violent approach. On Sunday, Swiss television wished to broadcast the final of the Swiss indoor tennis tournament in addition to the match between FC Basel and FC Luzern, the top two teams in Switzerland's Super League. So, they moved the football match to an earlier than expected 12:45pm kick-off, much to the dismay of Basel fans.
Their response? Litter the field with tennis balls!! Ultras behind the goal heaved countless tennis balls onto the field, suspending the game for a few minutes until they were cleared.
You see? Lighting things on fire and trashing cities is not the only way to advertise your disgust and discontent. Sometimes a little humor goes a long way, and at the end of the day the Basel supporters left with a 90 minute equalizer to retain their lead atop the table, and no more balls for their mid-week tennis games at the gym.
Germany's Bild is running a doppelgänger campaign for a number of players and managers both in Germany and the rest of Europe. Of them all, the above takes first prize.
Bastian Schweinsteiger has never been cast in such embarrassing light, or at least not since he bleached his hair white to resemble Paul Bettany as Silas in The Da Vinci Code. Nor has Schweiny been one to flatter the cameras either (probably why he clings to his girlfriend at every opportunity).
I just hope that isn't a picture of his mother from her college years as a free-spirited topless sunbather surrounded by storm troopers in motorcycle boots (don't worry - she's actually a woman on a postcard in Ithaca, Greece and a creepy farmer with a handlebar mustache looking down on her.)
Click here and scroll down for the rest of the doppelgängers (FYI - the above picture isn't censored on the site).
About a month ago, reports claimed that Carles Puyol had confided in a friend that he would play until 40 if a Facebook group for the cause attracted 250,000 followers. Well, it appears the power of Facebook has succeeded once again.
As of today, November 5th, the group named Carles Puyol: "If this gets 250,000 I will retire at 40", has surpassed the benchmark and currently boasts 251,082 followers. Carles has not released an official statement as of yet, but Barcelona, Spanish, and giant hair supporters around the globe will be thrilled with the opportunity to watch the Rock of Gibraltar compete for another EIGHT years.
Why not? The guy still plays at an extremely high level and his partnership with Pique has grown exponentially in a relatively short period of time. He does not appear to be slowing, nor has Guardiola ceased to put him at right back when needed. It's safe to assume that Facebook or not, Puyol probably anticipated playing a few more seasons as long as injuries did not get in the way (and he has been pretty healthy over the past few years).
I attribute his endurance to Malena Costa - his young brand new, super hot girlfriend.
We've got a few derbies of note coming up. Midweek European hangovers will surely be in effect, taking the bite out of a number of clubs over the weekend (put ALL your money on Bolton to defeat Tottenham). Most people may see this weekend as simply a layover before the colossal tussle between Manchester United and Manchester City on Wednesday.
But don't sell it short! There is plenty of action you cannot miss over the next two days so let's get right into it starting with Liverpool and Chelsea.
Saturday, November 6
8:30am Bolton vs Tottenham (ESPN2)
10:40am Borussia Monchengladbach vs. Bayern Munich - joined in progress (ESPN Deportes)
11:00am Manchester United vs Wolverhampton (FSC)
11:00am Fulham vs Aston Villa (FSC Plus)
1:00pm Sunderland vs Stoke City - tape delay (FSC)
1:00pm Bologna vs Lecce (FSC Plus)
3:00pm Real Sociedad vs Racing Santander (GolTV)
3:30pm Inter Milan vs Brescia (GolTV)
4:00pm Borussia Monchengladbach vs. Bayern Munich - tape delay (ESPN Deportes)
5:00pm Blackpool vs Everton - tape delay (FSC Plus)
10:00pm Real Salt Lake vs FC Dallas - Western Conference Semifinal Leg 2 (FSC)
Sunday, November 7
6:30am Fiorentina vs Chievo (FSC Plus)
8:30am Arsenal vs Newcastle United (FSC Plus)
8:30am FC Utrecht vs. PSV Eindhoven (ESPN Deportes)
9:00am Lazio vs Roma (FSC)
11:00am Villarreal vs Athletic Bilbao (GolTV)
11:00am Liverpool vs Chelsea (FSC)
11:00am Levante vs. Deportivo La Coruña (ESPN Deportes)
12:30pm Cardiff City vs Swansea City- tape delay (FSC Plus)
1:00pm Getafe vs. Barcelona (ESPN Deportes)
1:00pm Stuttgart vs Werder Bremen - tape delay (GolTV)
2:30pm Palermo vs Genoa (FSC)
3:00pm Real Madrid vs Atletico Madrid (GolTV)
3:00pm Paris Saint-Germain vs Marseille (FSC Plus)
5:00pm West Brom vs Manchester City- tape delay (FSC)
9:00pm Seattle Sounders FC vs. LA Galaxy - Western Conference Semifinal Leg 2 (ESPN)
A Portuguese football finance company has released its list of the top 30 players under 21 years of age, and their minimum/maximum value. Many of you may think these numbers are low, but you've simply been brainwashed by the inflated and astronomical transfers fees we've seen over the past two years. I give a lot of credit to this company who gave an honest estimate on these players' worth - especially for kids no older than 21.
There are also a number of surprising names missing from this list, but after looking it over, a majority of the players who made the list have been performing at a high level for some time on both the club and international level. So in some ways you can reduce the list of names not on this list if looking at those credentials only.
Either way, think what you will of it. Here's a quick breakdown followed by the list itself:
As Pippo Inzaghi started his run, I screamed at Gattuso to get rid of the ball and play him through. Whether he didn't see his teammate or simply thought the ball would never reach the Pippo is anyone's guess. Regardless, when he finally released the ball, I got up to go to the bathroom as he had missed the opportunity and Inzaghi was visibly two yards offsides. Next thing I know, the commentator is screaming "Goooool" on my television screen - Milan had taken the lead.
"Who is the best player on the planet: Messi or Ronaldo?"
You can produce volumes upon volumes of text debating this very topic. It is a question of football philosophy and personal preference. I will not attempt to defend one man against the other here (although my response should be quite obvious to you). What I will do, however, is expose the degenerate and disgusting aspect of Cristiano Ronaldo's game which should make any proper football fan loathe him.
There are plenty of athletes throughout sports who are cancers - Terrell Owens and Albert Haynesworth in the NFL, Manny Ramirez in baseball, Sean Avery in hockey. They are all excellent talents and add a competitive advantage to whichever team they play for. What they have in common though, is that all (or at least 95%) of the headaches they cause are off the field or on the sideline. When they have a chance to prove their doubters wrong, they enter the fray and give their all.
Ronaldo falls into a different category, which makes him a pathetic human being. His ability is mesmerizing. I'll give him that. But to give up on plays - to CHEAT the game itself by feinting injury and collapsing like a heap of bricks from the slightest of contact is an issue that will forever cement him as the second best player in the world. I don't care what happens during halftime, or in the dugout, or at a night club. But when you step on that pitch, and 10 other guys are relying on you to be an honest player and make the best decisions for the team, you owe it to them to act in an upstanding manner.
He is an unprofessional primma donna who attracts more viewers than any player on the planet, and conversely plays into the very reason most people hate the sport.
Yellow cards are given for diving. Why not the above clip? The minute Ronaldo gets up and reveals he is unblemished in an attempt to deceive the referee, give him a card!! No medic, no stretcher, no blood, no magic spray, no limp. Nothing. He is trying to cheat the ref and the game. That is a card-able offense.
Say what you will about his shooting, and speed, and sexy looks, and stepovers (which get him nowhere 90% of the time). The bottom line is, he is a disgrace to football. Lifting a Balon d'Or and being nominated for the most prestigious awards year after year carries with it an expectation of professionalism. The poster boy of the sport, should act in a way that reflects the dignity of the sport.
He doesn't. And he should never earn your respect.
One of my favorites, Abigail Rose "Abbey" Clancy is a luxurious lingerie model and quite the eye popper. She is currently carrying what I can only imagine is a gumby-like figure in her stomach as she and fiance Peter Crouch are expecting a child in March. Crouch is that gangly a-hole who cheated on Abbey a few months ago with some extremely ugly tramps. Forgetting for a moment that they were ugly, why on earth would he ever cheat on her?!?! Some guys would part with limbs just to get an hour with her in the bedroom (although that might be a littttle too extreme even for me).
But hey, this column is not meant to judge character flaws and commitment issues - just bodies. So as far as Abbey is concerned, she gets an A++.
I love my manager - one of the classiest and humble perfectionists on the planet, who always takes the high road and never gets mired in the childlike banter many managers employ. However last night, Guardiola's patience reached its breaking point as the Barcelona manager confronted FC Copengan's Stale Solbakken in a very heated exchange that almost got physical. Apparently, Guardiola was pissed at Solbakken for attempting to infringe on the Barcelona man's unflappable sense of style - shaved head and stubble, scarf, tapered coat, tie, and vest. It is a look that sends shivers down my spine every time I see Pep on the sideline. However, the Copenhagen man wears it with a little less class and sets an extremely bad example for that look...
Okay, I only wish that was the issue at hand. But in all seriousness, Solbakken had made a number of remarks before the match in reference to José Manuel Pinto, the Barcelona keeper suspended two matches by UEFA for unsportsmanlike conduct after he imitated the referee's whistle to stop a Copenhagen player from advancing on a break-away, who thought the ref blew for offsides and stopped playing. In an unprecedented scene in the career of one of the quieter managers, Pep stood up for his man.
(Details of the exchange and the video after the jump)
Over the years, we've witnessed some jaw dropping spectacles on the field. From goal celebrations, to pre-match rituals, to violent confrontations among players and/or fans, the sport has produced moments etched in history which leave every viewer wondering, "what the fuck just happened?!"
This video, for me, could very well be my top "wtf" moment (it's a close contest with toothbrush guy from the Chelsea match).
In a match televised around the world, Lisen battled Jihlava B in an epic Czech 3rd division tussle. Already up 3-0, the Lisen players decided to add a little fun to their romp. As one of the center-backs booted the ball in the air, someone on the sidelines screamed out "Kotoul," or "roll" at which point the entire team dropped into a forward roll.
Granted this was a 3rd division match, the stunt was actually somewhat humorous, and I would imagine most of the players are part time professionals. However, as an opponent, I would have pummeled every player on the Lisen squad - both on the field and in the dugout. There is a certain level of respect that this game warrants, and the Lisen players showed none. It's one thing to celebrate a goal while the game is stopped. But during the run of play?! They deserved a proper ass kicking.
It was a great weekend to be an American playing football abroad. Marcus Hahnemann helped Wolves secure only their second victory of the season in a shocker against Manchester City. It should be noted that of City's 19 shots, only two were on goal - and one of those got past him. Either way, Hahnemann gets a victory no matter how many stops he made.
Now to Craven Cottage where the most in-form American can't stop scoring. Clint Dempsey netted a brace in Fulham's 2-0 over Wigan. He has now tallied four goals this season, and very much on pace to better his total of seven all of last season. I would imagine a number of Americans cringed at the sight of Dempsey's embrace with Carlos Salcido. The Mexican international frustrated Wigan all game, wreaking havoc down the left side and setting up Dempsey's first. For what it's worth, this pair could be extremely menacing for opponents going forward. Highlights of both goals right this way.
One of the continent's big matches took place in Belgium as league leaders Racing Genk hosted second place Anderlicht. And wouldn't you know, Sacha Kljestan opened the scoring for the visitors with a poacher's goal. Kljestan signed a four year deal with the Belgian champions and has scored twice in five appearances (the first came in his debut for the club). Sacha's goal here.
MORE goals from Maurice Edu, and luckily not for the other team. The Rangers man put the home side up 1-0 against Inverness Caledonian Thistle (arguably the best name of any team on the planet). Edu showed great composure rifling the ball on the volley past the goalkeeper. Perhaps the best of all the American goals this weekend.
And although it was midweek, we should give Jozy Altidore a shout-out. The big striker who has struggled to impress anywhere in the past year finally scored for Villarreal in a Copa del Rey match. Playing time has been sparse for Altidore with his New Jersey counterpart Giuseppe Rossi and Nilmar being the preferred strikers. Let's hope this goal is the start of something good for him.
And while we are on the subject of American goals, remember when Landon scored that winner in the World Cup? This montage never gets old.
