Man Boob

Doesn't look like this Valerenga player wore his sports bra during yesterday's friendly against Barcelona.

(Photo courtesy of MundoDeportivo)

It's Friiiiday

La Liga may change start times to increase viewership in Asia (and stick it to the Premiership)

Disgusting displays of racism in Macedonia last night [Daily Mail]

Forget the MLS, Landon Donovan is weighing up his options for Europe [Goal.com]

Not quite sure what this 23 year old English lingerie model has to do with anything football related but it's something nice for Friday [Elle Liberachi]

Franck Ribéry has come forward with more details. Turns out he had a full out orgy with the under-aged prostitute, her friend, and another of his comrades. They apparently kept switching throughout the night. Well done Franck. [Marca]

Reaction to Maradona's departure [Soccernet]

Who Wears Short Shorts?

Joe Cole was training the other day with new club Liverpool and - well - the thing is there really are shorts under there. At least I really hope there are.

But in truth it is no surprise to see young master Cole prancing around like this. He's had quite an extensive and well documented career of short shorts. Which got me thinking, I'd love to see Joe's thighs through the years and maybe some of the inspiration behind it...

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Sara and Iker are still stateside and the other day spent a little time at the pool...

There's really nothing left to say.  Full gallery this way.

Manchester United Rolls Over MLS All-Stars

Last night's 5-2 drubbing was comical at times. Mostly though, it was a highlight real of great goal after great goal for the English side. A clinic of how the game is played. MLS All-Stars? Not so much...

MLS' All Star Crock

Events over the past 2 days have clearly illustrated why MLS will never be a significant entity until changes are made. The mentality in this country is skewed as it's become more and more apparent how much football has been Americanized into soccer. On the one hand there's no choice. Everyone agrees this isn't our sport and without tweaking it a bit to cater to the American public, it would never survive. However, this country still has a duty to respect the game, and quite frankly, we don't.

I'll get to the All Star game in a bit, but let's start with the Los Angeles Galaxy - this year's premiere team in MLS. They have dominated all competition so far winning 12, losing 2, and drawing 4. They've scored the most goals in the league and given up the fewest. Topping the Western Conference, they are still 9 points clear of second place Real Salt Lake and 6 points ahead of the Eastern Conference leader. You get the point - they ain't too shabby. The Galaxy took all this talent into Tuesday's CONCACAF Champions League qualifying match against the Puerto Rico Islanders who play in the USL - America's second tier league. Puerto Rico soundly thumped them 4-1 in Los Angeles. 4-1!! What a disgrace. LA is the face of Major League Soccer captained by arguably the most noticeable player on the planet right now in Landon Donovan. There shouldn't be any club team on the continent who comes close. Yet, in our Champions League, what should be the most prestigious tournament for club teams playing in CONCACAF, the Galaxy simply couldn't care less.

Carlos Tevez is Getting Grimey

I'll just get right to the point. Carlos Tevez (26) has decided women his age aren't mature enough so he's chosen an 18 year old actress named Brenda Asnicar instead.

It was reported a few weeks back that Tevez and his new squeeze were dating behind the scenes. Nobody truly knew anything concrete as the couple remained hush hush and out of sight. Until now...

Brenda broke her silence on a radio interview saying, "He’s very handsome, but I am very careful about my private life." Hold on one second there missy. Handsome?! Maybe she's just too young to truly appreciate a handsome man, because the last time I checked, her boyfriend looks more like Ugly Betty than Fabio. Let's just hope there's no neck foreplay.

Brenda is a tricky WAG to cover, and for obvious reasons. Please be assured that she turned the legal age to buy cigarettes in the U.S. when these photos were taken.

Practice Makes Perfect

Creativity in the Spanish camp apparently runs through every level of their national football program. The U-19 squad converted this cheeky, cheeky, cheeky free kick against England today in the semi-finals of the U-19 European Championships.

Right off the training pitch:

Steve Cherundolo Named Captain

America's own Stevie Chode (c'mon he looks a bit like one and there ain't much else to do with his last name) has been named Hannover 96's captain for the upcoming season.

He becomes only the fourth American in the history of EVER to wear the captain's armband for a European club. Unfortunately though, this honor has been rudely similar to the well documented Madden curse. Claudio Reyna was first as he took the armband for German side VfL Wolfsburg in 1997. Midway through his second season with the club he was shipped to Rangers. Brian McBride became captain of Fulham prior to the 2007/08 season only to bang up his knee early in the season keeping him inactive for 5 months. And Kasey Keller served as Borussia Mönchengladbach's captain for a whopping 1 season before moving to England in 2007.

Let's not belittle this achievement though. At 31 and coming off a wonderful World Cup, Steve still has plenty to offer his club. Come to think of it, it seems only appropriate that Hannover bestowed this honor upon him after 11 years of service (it is the only club he has played for in his career). Americans scatter throughout Europe to play their football - from the Premiership and La Liga to second divisions in France or the Netherlands. It is extremely rare to find an American that has stuck with one squad for so long, and this new honor is a testament to Steve's abilities as a player and leader.

Let's just hope it lasts a bit longer than his predecessors.

Sara Carbonera has a new gig

The love of my life is in the news again. And frankly, any news involving her is BIG news on this site.

Sara has signed on with Italian TV giant Mediaset Premium owned by AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi. She will serve as the Spanish correspondent for the weekly wrap-up show called Premium Calcio. The people of Italy should be thankful that Spain is in good spirits since winning the World Cup. It is not often the winner shares its spoils!

How might we benefit from her new role? Well unless you've got a dish forget it. However, everyone in San Francisco had an opportunity to gawk the other week as she and Iker went on holiday. Faux-honeymoon photos this way.

Greatest Goal Celebration

Who says Iceland has nothing to offer the world? Sure, it got a bad rap after that whole volcano fiasco a couple months back, but this display will forever change our impressions of the island nation.

Stjarnan played Fylkir the other day and after scoring the game winner, Halldor Orri kicked off what is arguably the greatest celebration ever thought of...

Cheeky Penalty Kick

Ezequiel Calvente of Spain's U-19 squad converted this penalty kick over the weekend at the European Championships.

Fat Ronaldo's Career May Be Over

(marca.com)

That picture says it all. He looks like the little fat kid in any movie who's forced to run a short distance and then pleads for death more than anything. Ronaldo commented the other day, "I'm getting very old, and my body is urging me to stop." I think what his body is really telling him to stop is the drinking, eating, partying, eating, eating, and hooking up with trannies. Very old? He's only 33!!

To be fair, you can't really blame the guy if he chose to call it quits in the near future. He is THE Ronaldo. Ronaldinho, which means "little Ronaldo" and whose real name is Ronaldo de Assis Moreira, was forced into that nickname without a choice. You couldn't just waltz around with the king's name. He scored 242 times in 333 appearances during his club career. Not to mention another whopping 62 goals in 97 appearances for his country. 15 goal in the World Cup remains an all-time record. He's won every tournament and individual honor imaginable.

We still have until December to watch him play, but all signs are pointing to that being the very end. Here's a quick compilation of his masterful career.

Friday Links!

(marca)

A great collection of look alikes for members of Manchester United [Right this way]


Sky Sports (England's ESPN) released an indescribable commercial for their brand spankin' new season. [Chicks in leather]


An insight into how American politics interact with football. I promise you won't find another article like it. [Click]


UEFA's cowardly response to goal-line techonology [The Guardian]


More disgusting and despicable behavior from South American club football [Managers starting fights]


All of the World Cup murals you may, or may not, have seen [Artwork this way]

Henry Debut

No. That title doesn't read Hen-ree De-Butt. And no, don't let ESPN try to tell you they were playing Tot-en-Ham. Last night, Red Bull Arena witnessed the debut of proper French cuisine. Harrison, New Jersey's best au jous. Okay, you get the point. Thierry Henry made his US and MLS debut last night with 45 minutes of intelligent, creative, and, at times, mesmerizing football. Oh, and he scored a goal.

For fans of the game in this country, it was an epic night. Not in the way ESPN and most of the media will portray it for you simply because he scored (after all, yanks only care about goals...). But it was so much more than that. He was employed as a central striker where he can be most damaging. Yeh, Tottenham held the ball for long spells. And to be honest I kinda felt bad for Henry during these spells as Tottenham exposed the mammoth gap between MLS and the rest of the world simply by knocking the ball around. But when the Red Bulls reclaimed possession, and they did many times, Henry served as the pivot man in the final third.

Whether it was his positioning, passing, or movements off the ball into open space, we saw everything this man can still offer. As for the goal itself, what a thing of beauty. Joel Lindpere skinned Alan Hutton sending a perfect cross into the middle. Just watch Henry while Lindpere beats his man, and then his instinctive run towards the near post to receive the pass. The shot itself was a beauty to watch as well.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here yet. It was only his first game and 45 minutes at that. But for everyone watching, they saw what very well could be the best foreign superstar to perform in this country's domestic league in its 17 year history.

Thought I'd finish without mentioning Beckham? He's a crock. And Henry will ensure that nobody will ever remember anything Beckham contributed to MLS on the field.

Soccer Tennis

Nadal has skillsssss:

Baby Cris-Ron Part 2

(elmundodeportivo.es)

False alarm!  Although it was reported the other day that Cristiano Ronaldo's girlfriend, fellow underwear model Irina Shayk, had explained on her facebook page she intended to marry the dreamy man-whore, it turns out the whole thing was a farce.

According to Irina, somebody hacked onto her facebook page and displayed her intentions for marriage. She, of course, has no interest in marrying Mr. Ronaldo.

Who could blame her? How could anyone ever think he would be a one woman man the rest of his life?! They've been together for a few months now which means she doesn't have much time left. In fact, she'll probably get the ax as soon as Real Madrid kick of the 2010/11 campaign.

As for Cristiano Jr.? His hopes of having an illegitimate mother have been dashed. The closest thing he'll get is whomever Cris-Ron hires to be the nanny, and I can only imagine how many millions that woman will get. I also kinda feel bad for Jr. because his father won't be able to hold him for another year since infants cannot come in contact with spray-on tanning solutions as it causes a terrible rash and infection.

Good news is, Cristiano doesn't seem to be giving up his swinging lifestyle so Jr. has plenty of late nights and VIP lounges to look forward to when he grows up.

Incredible Goal

Check out this stunner from Croatia's Franko Andrijasevic against Spain at the U-19 European Championships going on in France: